Are you a shady individual, on the run from bounty hunters that just won't leave you alone? Do you owe money to shady individuals that are happy to take a hand in exchange for missed payments? Do you just want to know what those bodies of your dead adventuring companions are actually feeling?
Then try Diet Death! Created by Deralli Serava while trying to brew a powerful healing potion, Diet Death instead puts the body into a state of torpor as if they were dead! But this viscous red liquid with seemingly sentient black smoke flowing within it only puts the imbiber under the effects of a Feign Death spell that lasts 2d4 hours instead of the usual one hour. During this time, the target appears fully dead to all magical and nonmagical inspections, is resistant to all damage (you read right, all damage!), and is immune to poison and diseases, since even they think the target is actually dead. However, the drinker is blind, deaf, has no speed, and is unable to end the spell early for any reason!
So try Diet Death! Now in Molasses, Pyre Smoke, and Cherry flavors!
*Do not drink Diet Death if you have allergies to dead people, heart conditions, or a fear of immobility. Side effects of Diet Death may include nausea, vomiting, irritability, extreme hunger and thirst, a desire to consume flesh or blood, muscle degeneration, imposter syndrome, believing you are a ghost trapped on this plane with unfinished business, or in rare cases actual death. Consult a cleric if you begin experiencing one of the above side effects, if the effects of Diet Death last more than 5 hours, or if you are trapped in a permanently comatose body that refuses to lose the effects of Feign Death. Deralli Serava is not responsible for any joys or problems caused by the consumption of Diet Death. Don't even look for them, they are long gone, you definitely couldn't find them in Jewelspar at 3 pm with a case full of poison. Definitely don't look there.
