Guild Postings were the cornerstone of SotS Inc's day to day operations. On this page you'll find listed many quests that were posted in the guild, as seen in the Sick of this Shit Incorporated Campaign.
Each posting had several important bits of information, but as information was almost always filled out by the client themselves, it could be quite subjective. What one client may find "LETHAL", another may call "Medium".
Each guild posting typically included a reward promised by the quest-poster, as well as a secondary reward that the SotS guild would give to participating members. SotS usually tried it's best to match the rewards of the client, but when they came up short or couldn't match it, would offer alternative rewards such as cheese.
Missions with a cross-out title were confirmed to be completed, with participating guild members listed at bottom of the posting.
Need help in unsmash[edit | edit source]
Difficulty: Easy
Client: Grog Grog
Location: Squat
Quest: "I mistake smash well of village and now they mad at Grog. Help unsmash well so tiny pink not orcs stop throwing pointies at me."
Reward: A hug and a smash of what ever you want
SotS Matching: Money and a hug.
Brave Test Subjects Needed[edit | edit source]
Difficulty: Easy
Client: Madam Marie, Shopkeeper
Location: Farthom, Spineswad
Quest: "I am running low on a particular herb that is used to make my exquisite elixers, potions, and tonics. Meet me at my shop for more information."
Client Reward Offered: An assortment of potions.
SotS Matching: GP equal to the market value of potions offered.
Need Help Cleaning Old Palace[edit | edit source]
Difficulty: EASY to MODERATE
Client: Lord Barroth
Location: Old Palace, South Lunas
Quest: A gala to celebrate the nation's founding will be held in the old palace in three weeks time. Unfortunately no one has been inside for over a decade. Please ensure building is still safe to use before we proceed.
Client Reward Offered: 50 GP and an invite to the gala
SotS Matching: 50 GP
Supplies Running Low[edit | edit source]
Difficulty: Lethal
Client: Dranthan the Alchemist
Location: Blacked Tower 2 Miles west of Yird
Quest: Test Subjects to try a selection of recent experimental brews. Most effects will be harmless, some few may be dangerous. Fatalities are not expected. Maximum 3 phials per subject with instructions for use, anticipated effects, and guaranteed payment for recovery (if needed)
Client Reward Offered: 100gp per phial survived
SotS Matching: 100gp for every vial brought back for study, double that if the so called "alchemist" is brought to justice.
We Need a Cure![edit | edit source]
Difficulty: Medium-Rare
Client: Lord Gerolt Hendover
Location: The Lands of Lord Gerolt, outside Rwendia
Quest: The lands in which I am owner of have been struck by a mysterious plague of which our healers are ignorant of. We are requesting the aid of the Guild for any able bodied adventurers to search the abanonded mage tower for a cure or cure recipe.
Cleint Reward Offered: 500 GP, plus any contents of the tower
SotS Matching: 500 GP
Mysteriously Low, Dark Clouds[edit | edit source]
Difficulty: Unknown
Client: Stotstein Glorygem
Location: Dardin
Quest: Low flying lightning clouds have been seen in the plains to the south east. WARNING - They are chasing and killing travelers. Please search out these clouds, find out what the cause is, and stop them.
Cleint Reward Offered: 100 GP per adventurer and any coins/goods found during the discovery of the clouds and their causes.
SotS Matching: 100 GP
Dance for Rain[edit | edit source]
"Note: This posting requires travel outside the Oppidan region"
Difficulty: LETHAL
Client: The cities of Fecund, Yird, and Swardly
Location: The peaks of the Fiddlehead Mountains
Quest: This year's drought has caused a risk of famine in our cities. We are sending out requests to all accepting parties in Pteris to travel to the peak of the mountains where they say the Giants live in hopes that the ancient ways of these creatures has a chance to bring storms to the area.
Cleint Reward Offered: 20,000 GP to be split among the successful party, and free lodging in our towns with the given title of "Royal Raindancer"
SotS Matching: Leftover fine cheese and an equally meaningless title.
Bandit Interception Interception Needed[edit | edit source]
Difficulty: Easy to Medium
Client: Nicholas Adams, project overseer
Location: Miller Farms
Quest: Bandits have been intercepting food and supply shipments destined for the new logging settlement located approximately 3 days north-west of town, at the border of the forest. We are requesting able-bodied adventurers and mercenaries to act as escorts for the next and final shipment. It is essential to the operation that these supplies reach the settlement.
Cleint Reward Offered: Pay of 150 GP per person
SotS Matching: 150 GP per person
Dimber Damber in Danger[edit | edit source]
This was an illicit posting created by Hillevi to give members an excuse to help her in Jewelspar
Difficulty: Cramp Word
Client: Gallow Bird of the Queer Cove
Location: Jewelspar
Quest: Z. Papa Porker is now his honor's guest for a binging at the perry and crawling in the hole like a. The Porker could be placed in the guest house or tucked into another bed than King Trenton. He needs to go home and it's with help of the culling Gallow Bird of the Queer Cove, who's history with the Porker makes her a provender in this case.
Cleint Reward Offered: 200 GP and a Hike
SotS Matching: None.
Dimber Damber in Danger (translated)[edit | edit source]
Difficulty: Lethal
Client: A Former Thief who’s name starts with Q.
Quest: Prince Z now faces charges for abandoning his post and hiding in the streets and the warehouses like an urchin. Possible outcomes include imprisonment or removal from the royal succession of King Trenton. Break him out of jail and do it using ex SotS member, Hillevi Quickly, who had a long history with Prince Zachary.
Client Reward Offered: 200 GP and a Pardon
Damn Those Vermin[edit | edit source]
[Note: This mission was forged by The Shadowgate as a way to get members to head out towards Spineswad where they could attack a gnome. The translated version is immediately below as "A Friend in Need"]
Difficulty: LETHAL
Client: John the Smith's Apprentice
Location: Outlands of Spineswad
Quest: There's a group of vermin who have run off with a lot of my boss's goods. They have done my friend a great wrong and deserve to be punished appropriately. The smithing stuffs are likely inedible but even if they are edible, you can throw them away. I simply ask for justice for my forging friend. In return for your services, I've attached the dance steps to my favorite jig "The Paddling Brain Doctor". Any fan of line-dancing could follow these steps. Happy Hunting.
Client Reward Offered: 200 SP for every vermin's head you can recover, but other than that, I can only offer a summertide's worth of liberation for my boss.
SotS Matching: 200 SP
Damn Those Vermin (translated)[edit | edit source]
Difficulty: Lethal
Client: A Friend in Need
Location: See Attached Map [which lead to an AID research station]
Quest: A trusted construct requires vengeance to be taken. No lives spared. They may have treasures but even taking evidence of your raiding on their hideout could be risky. Not recommended. A map is attached to the location of these dark experimenters, the starting point is the domain border.
Cleint Reward Offered: Exactly what you have been offered in person.
SotS Matching: None.
Turn my Wife Back[edit | edit source]
Difficulty: Not given
Client: Farmer Jonas Miller
Location: Miller Farms [outside Granite]
Quest: Turn my wife back
Client Reward Offered: Fine cheese and beer
SotS Matching: Equally fine cheese and beer.
Help Me Fix Roof[edit | edit source]
[Note, this message was written in a colloquial Thieves Cant, designed to draw in potential recruits for The Shadowgate, a secondary guild that operated in the shadows in Granite. Roughly translated, this quest involved breaking in to the Magic Tower of SotS Inc. and stealing a book from inside the highly-protected tower. Being property of the guild, those who took on this quest were risking their membership.]
Difficulty: EASY
Client: John the Baker
Location: Granite
Quest: There's a hole in the roof, and I need some help repairing it. It leaks something awful, can't stand anywhere without getting wet when it rains. I've had a look at it up close, but there's no way I could fix it myself. If I had a few lads stop by my bakery on Pickle St. around closing, we could get it done in no time. I have a few tools, but an extra hammer wouldn't hurt either. Hope I get some help soon, or I may have to close up shop permanently and move back out to the country.
Client Reward Offered: I'll be more than happy to provide you with lodgings for the night afterwards, with a 1/2 loaf of bread for each worker.
SotS Matching: 10 GP per person
URGENT: CHILDREN KIDNAPPING[edit | edit source]
Sponsored Quest: Minimum Ranking of 10 Required to Accept
Difficulty: HARD
Client: King Johann von Wolfgang
Location: Wardwind
Quest: Nefarious Musician has stolen away all of the children of Wardwind in the night. Please send help immediately.
Client Reward Offered: 10,000 GP worth of fine jewelry
SotS Matching: Fine Cheese and Beer
Ushers Requested[edit | edit source]
Difficulty: MODERATE
Client: Ser Opula, owner of the Lunas Theater
Location: High Lunas
Quest: Recent events have necessitated armed Ushers, must be ready to communicate to attending audience members and deal with unruly patrons and supernatural belligerents. Experience recommended.
Client Reward Offered: Free showing of the magic of theatre and a few gold pieces.
SotS Matching: Client reward. If arrests are made and convicts are referenced to SotS, additional rewards can be arranged.
World Renowned Theatre Group Auditioning for Upcoming Performance![edit | edit source]
This is a sponsored quest. If we can put a member of our guild in this troupe, we can make connections overseas.
Difficulty: None.
Client: Director Mussaro Stendarious
Location: Auditions are held at the Mithril Theatre in Lunas
Quest: Have you longed for a life of drama, limelight, and creative expression? This is your chance to make your dreams a reality! The Oprus Magnificus has recently experienced a shortage of talented actors and musicians, and is now gathering the best and brightest talents of Oppidan together for their biggest performance yet - Nobility Wed, set to music and punctuated with magic effects!
Client Reward Offered: To be discussed with Mussaro Stendarius, Troupe Leader, on acceptance of the role
SotS Matching: Founder Anema E. Core has agreed to meet with the lucky actor for a personal lesson in stagework.
Neighborhood Overrun![edit | edit source]
Difficulty: Easily moderate
Client: Raul "Hands-of-Steel" Veinhart
Location: Raul's Costume Jewelry and Teapot Emporium, Jewelspar
Quest: My neighborhood is being slowly overtaken by migrants and other social undesirables. They need to be ran out of town.
Client Reward Offered: 400 gold sovereigns and a custom signet ring made for each participant (maximum 6 rings)
SotS Matching: Client reward (gold only)
Animal Welfare[edit | edit source]
Difficulty: HARD
Client: Sheriff Pinky of Holtson
Location: Holtson Farmland
Quest: Our animals have started acting perversely. At first they were competing more for feed, but now they've turned aggressive against the people. We can't collect eggs, milk the cattle or shear the sheep! I fear it won't be long before the people start to be effected.
Client Reward Offered: 3000 GP
SotS Matching: 400 GP per SotS Participant
A Horse and a Thief[edit | edit source]
Difficulty: EASY TO MEDIUM
Client: Javier Jacolinda
Location: Spineswad paths west of Yird, look for the bricks
Quest: I bought a black Vanner to pull my masonry cart between sites. I believe I had got a great deal from a tribe of traveling horse traders, however it ran off. The horse waited until I had a full cart of my tools and Bricks, and then--it trotted away. I followed the trail of bricks it left behind to the border of our lands. I am a mason and proud to know the levels and angles, but I cannot cross into the badlands. I am seeking someone to retrieve the scales, levels, calipers and tools the horse stole. I am also interested in dispatching that horse. It is this mason's custom to dine on such animals... I care for the bricks, but if they don’t come back I can sustain the loss. Do you think you are interested, or should I continue my search for those who can heft this burden?
Client Reward Offered: Instruction in Dungeoneering and brick masonry, a load of bricks, Horse meat, I can scrape together some gold. I will share with you the tricks of the masonry trade... Could be useful for getting into and out of the places you look like you frequent...
SotS Matching: 1 Extra Rank Point, 30 GP per each journaling (Drawings, descriptions, stories) of the badlands recorded during this quest.
HAVE YOU HEARD THE GOOD NEWS?[edit | edit source]
Difficulty: MODERATE
Client: First Supreme Grand Master High Priest of the Golden Flaming Tail
Location: Jewelspar Chapels
Quest: "Congratulations, my friends! The time of joy is upon us all! Come one, come all to kneel at the altar of our saviour!" Quote the cleric who came to us. In actuality...It looks like this chapter of clerics has been infected or altered to worship this 'Grand Master High Priest'. Please investigate and if necessary, destroy the source of corruption.
Client Reward Offered: "SALVATION AND ETERNAL LIFE"
SotS Matching: 2500 GP/Participant, more if potential clerics can be "turned" to join SotS.
PLEASE FYNDE COW[edit | edit source]
Difficulty: “Shuld be easy? Cow is big how hard to fynde?”
Client: GUTBER
Location: “pteris planes near SQWAT “
Quest: "Yesterday i lost mi cow. While i was farming, thing came out of the wood by hous and tuk it. Please fynde cow???!"
Client Reward Offered: "A hole pouch of gold for da cow bringer"
SotS Matching: A hole pouch for each member who accepts and finishes this quest. A whole pouch for each member who helps eliminate Gutber, whose gang of orcs is known to pillage nearby villages.
Guards, Greeters Requested[edit | edit source]
Difficulty: “Medium/Hard. Depends on your party's ability to talk to people without giving in to your natural urges to murder, loot, and pillage.”
Client: J.Q. SmytheSmee esq.
Location: SmytheSmee Estate, Upper Lunas
Quest: “My estate will be the host to a high society get together, and we will require SMARTLY DRESSED and COURTEOUS adventurers who can man the doors, patrol the perimeter, and prevent any ruffians from slipping in with the crowd. Certain thieves’ guilds have made threats to several attendees, and I myself have received threats regarding a hidden treasury in my estate. The potential for "adventure" is clearly present, and I hope this finds you well, but please note that intimidation and harassment of legitimate guests will not be tolerated, and any serious interruption of the festivities in the main hall and grounds will result in severe docking of payment.”
Client Reward Offered: “Gold. To be negotiated after the party. You are also free to party leftovers including food and wine (NOT silverware and goblets). There is a spot in the barn for sleeping after the party concludes.”
SotS Matching: Client reward.
Rest in Peace[edit | edit source]
Difficulty: HARD
Client: Fawng the Young
Location: If seriously inquiring, see Benny for details.
Quest: “DEAD NOT DEAD. WARRIORS NEEDED ASAP!”
Client Reward Offered: “Gold and stone.”
SotS Matching: Whatever you find.
Accompany our VIP[edit | edit source]
This posting will require travel outside the Oppidan region.
Difficulty: HARD
Client: The Council of Korranand the Great
Location: USSSC, Flaughtland
Quest: “Korranand the Great has a wish for his beloved and fluffiest Kazak to visit one of the towns in his holding. (To ensure that it is being constructed according to plan.) Guards are required to accompany Kazak from Uggarat the Shining Star of the Seven Cities (USSSC) to the holding town of Hissar.”
Client Reward Offered: “2000 Golden Flowers”
SotS Matching: 2000 GP
WANTED! EYE OF A BREME YETI[edit | edit source]
This posting will require travel outside the Oppidan region.
Difficulty: HARD
Client: Yjoren Yjorenson of Njordryph
Location: “Peak of Vittaria…then Breme”
Quest: “High up in the Pteris Mountains there is a place of elemental power linking our world here to the wasteland of ice and snow known as Breme. While acquiring catalysts to power some of my more...obscure spells I was happened upon by a massive yeti with glowing blue eyes. I will handsomely reward any interested individual or party who can acquire these eyes intact. I have also left my heirloom ebonwood staff and belt of spell reagents on the tundra when I fled from the beast. Recovery of these items is optional, but well rewarded nonetheless.”
Client Reward Offered: “8000 Silver Pieces for each Yeti Eye, 500 gold apiece for the ebonwood staff and belt.”
SotS Matching: 1000 GP if a Yeti Eye can be recovered for study here. Otherwise, match client reward.
“Find my Missing Son! ” [edit | edit source]
Difficulty: DELICATELY MEDIUM
Client: Mrs. Rumand Nanciville
Location: Jewelspar
Quest: “Last night, I heard a strange noise outside and sent my son to investigate. I've told the guards, but they seem convinced that he's run off---boys will be boys and all---But I'm convinced something else happened out there in the yard, and I don't know where else to turn. I'll give you everything I have for Ronald's safety.”
Client Reward Offered: 30 GP
Sick of this Shit Matching: 300 GP per searching party participant. Bonus 1000 GP party bonus if the boy is found alive.
Hobgoblin Hunt[edit | edit source]
Difficulty: Hard
Client: Freida Arrowthorn
Location: Woodland northwest of Holtston
Quest: A band of Hobgoblins intercepted my woodsmen returning from lumber collection. They are very crafty and have been holed up in an old elven city in the woods 3 tenday's walk from town. I need some adventurers willing to go retrieve my goods! WARNING: My lumberjacks were investigating a magical forest, so the nature of the trees and lumber is unknown. Proceed with caution.
Client Reward Offered: 500g credit at my shop
SotS Matching: 500g credit at the Granite Adventuring Shop
PLEAS STOP GAHBLIGS[edit | edit source]
Difficulty: Lethal
Client: Grog Grog the Orc
Location: Orc Encampments west of Squat
Quest: “Yester day I lost mi cow. tooday I lost mi meatsack. tomorrow I lost mi friend too batle with gahbligs. Big scary red gahbligs. Pleas stop dem.”
Client Reward Offered: “Hole pouch of gold for heros”
Sick of this Shit Matching: An equal size pouch of gold.
Lord Kitty is Preganete![edit | edit source]
Difficulty: Easy
Client: Mrs. Prewster
Location: Granite
Quest: “Oh my lords above my precious noble feline has been INJECTED with the hellspawn of another mutt on the streets. I didn’t even know men cats could get preganatete. I need immediate action to be taken so that Lord Kitty is not corrupted by this vicious turn of events.”
Client Reward Offered: Another Lord Kitty t-shirt.
Sick of this Shit Matching: 40 Gold to be split among your party.
Come Sail Away[edit | edit source]
This was an posting created by ex member Duskella used to give an excuse for Julian Winter to join her crew.
Difficulty: Lethal
Client: The Captain
Quest: We need experience crew members for.....uh.....Storm Giant Sail. "Keep those Storm Giants Out" you know?
...
We need Janky.
Client Reward Offered: None
Other Quests[edit | edit source]
Other quests mentioned in the campaign but never explicitely seen include:
- Retrieve My Wagon
- Stop that Damn Laughter
- This Succubus
- Marshal Needed
- Gambling Hall Conspiracy
- Weird Pig
- Help find Lord Kitty
- Hobgoblins Having Trouble
- Damn These Vermin Again
- Dino...sore?
