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This is not just a trust with my physical safety or with some of my secrets, but something far more significant. I shared with her that I would be leaving, and where I would be going, and this only made her want to follow me. But perhaps the most significant moment was when I shared my ambitions with her. She didn't shy away, rebuff me, tell me they were foolish or outside my grasp, she accepted them and offered to support them. As I write this just after the successful culmination of events in the contract described below, I may not have the timeline of events perfectly accurate, but it was also around this time that we had the necessary discussion of what exactly our relationship was, or could be. | This is not just a trust with my physical safety or with some of my secrets, but something far more significant. I shared with her that I would be leaving, and where I would be going, and this only made her want to follow me. But perhaps the most significant moment was when I shared my ambitions with her. She didn't shy away, rebuff me, tell me they were foolish or outside my grasp, she accepted them and offered to support them. As I write this just after the successful culmination of events in the contract described below, I may not have the timeline of events perfectly accurate, but it was also around this time that we had the necessary discussion of what exactly our relationship was, or could be. | ||
Reedy took me out to the sparring area just outside of camp to share a private meal and discuss where things between us stood or could go. I again explained that I wasn't really looking for anything permanent when I came to Quelmar, and what obstacles lay in that direction: my return to Phlegethos, my eventual change into a devil, my ambitions, and my lack of total control over my life. I even shared how my own feelings for Reedy are not so... insurmountable as hers for me appear to be. Yet, she confessed that she ''loved'' me, and would face whatever difficulty to stay in my life forever. There is nothing really for her to gain from this relationship other than me, and in fact she loses so much she holds dear in order to further it: her connection to Corellon, which she clearly prizes, her mortal family, her life, and her very soul. | Reedy took me out to the sparring area just outside of camp to share a private meal and discuss where things between us stood or could go. I again explained that I wasn't really looking for anything permanent when I came to Quelmar, and what obstacles lay in that direction: my return to Phlegethos, my eventual change into a devil, my ambitions, and my lack of total control over my life. I even shared how my own feelings for Reedy are not so... insurmountable as hers for me appear to be. Yet, she confessed that she ''loved'' me, and would face whatever difficulty to stay in my life forever. There is nothing really for her to gain from this relationship other than me, and in fact she loses so much she holds dear in order to further it: her connection to Corellon, which she clearly prizes, her mortal family, her life, and her very soul. | ||
I tried to be quite clear that I could not promise love in the same way, that I would hurt and use her if she let me, and yet she persisted. For her to be willing to sacrifice so much not for gain or to advance another agenda just felt so different from anything I've experienced before. Perhaps it is in part the naivety of a young woman half my own age, but she also has lived a life filled with strife and tensions. She carries with her a thirst for freedom I admire, yet is willing to subordinate her soul to my own in the name of staying close to me and supporting whatever I choose to do. How could I possibly reject her? No, she is not currently an ideal fit for a bodyguard or general under my command, but neither am I in that position of command. We both have time and room to grow into the roles we choose, and I find myself looking forward to overcoming any challenge the multiverse throws at us together. | |||
Of course, to be truly lasting, any relationship between us demands Reedy's soul be traveling to the same plane mine is. This would not necessarily be impossible without a contract in place, but writing one gives us both surety as well as establishes proper terms for the future and protections from potential outside interference. In particular, I felt concerned that should nothing be set in irrevocable blood, despite anything Reedy feels now, she would find that forces surrounding her would change those feelings. Either someone from the side of light in Corellon would intervene and persuade her not to abandon her moral convictions related to the hells, or she would simply find herself no longer pulled in the right direction in terms of those morals. The other significant issue that needed to be addressed was her mother, Glasya who seems to have as much interest in Reedy as Grandmother has in me, yet has approached that interest in ways that make no sense to me whatsoever. Her failure to engender a feeling of familiar loyalty or even similarity of purpose with her daughter baffles me when I find compare it with my own situation. | Of course, to be truly lasting, any relationship between us demands Reedy's soul be traveling to the same plane mine is. This would not necessarily be impossible without a contract in place, but writing one gives us both surety as well as establishes proper terms for the future and protections from potential outside interference. In particular, I felt concerned that should nothing be set in irrevocable blood, despite anything Reedy feels now, she would find that forces surrounding her would change those feelings. Either someone from the side of light in Corellon would intervene and persuade her not to abandon her moral convictions related to the hells, or she would simply find herself no longer pulled in the right direction in terms of those morals. The other significant issue that needed to be addressed was her mother, Glasya who seems to have as much interest in Reedy as Grandmother has in me, yet has approached that interest in ways that make no sense to me whatsoever. Her failure to engender a feeling of familiar loyalty or even similarity of purpose with her daughter baffles me when I find compare it with my own situation. |