Thuchor

The Hon. Lt. Brig. Thuchor Montcora, Esq. is an entrepreneur, philanthropist and businessgiff of the highest standing^{[citation needed]}. Renowned throughout the galaxies for his bold and disruptive business strategies, Thuchor has been widely lauded for his unique contributions to the financial world. Not only is Thuchor a brilliant captain of industry, he is also well-known for his success in battle. His unique tactics of "leading from behind", "watching from a distance" and "not getting involved" have led him safely through many victories.

Business acumen

Some of Thuchor's many successful business ventures include:

• GiffCoin -- the currency of the future! Each GiffCoin is uniquely associated to a randomly generated .jpg of the most hideous hippo picture you have ever seen, thus guaranteeing its value.
• Turnips (some say that Turnip is the next Beetroot)
• Fake Estate (it's the hot new trend in real estate the big banks don't want you to know about)
• DogBook -- the social network for dogs.
• Placebotions -- healing potions that don't work and cost a lot of money but they come in a pretty bottle
• " It's a steal!™ " -- the homegoods and gift store where you have to pay a cover fee to enter but you can shoplift as much as you can get away with
• Inflammable homes -- they can't burn down since they're inflammable
• An app that gives you updates on the latest fashions in tusk maintenance. Makes money by selling your data to walrus pirates.

Thuchor's firm commitment to free-market principles underlies his strict "no refunds" policy. This has earned criticism from some quarters, but Thuchor has always maintained that any consequences arising from business dealings with him are "solely the responsibility of the person who didn't read the fine print, ultra-fine print or microscopic print".

Battle tactics

It was Sun Tzu who said "In a battle, always hide behind the largest rock, tree or bystander"^{[citation needed]}. Thuchor holds this advice firmly to his heart, where his money is kept. More of a leader than a follower, Thuchor prefers to lead by following from a great distance. Like any good manager, Thuchor delegates his battle responsibilities to those in a better position to be in the way of an angry dragon.