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Revision as of 19:57, 21 May 2023 by Drang (talk | contribs)

A Letter of Unknown Acceptance

"To Whom It May Concern,

Firstly, we would like to congratulate you on your exemplary work at [redacted] University, your academic acumen has garnered you the opportunity to further your career with us at the GreenWood Foundation. We are constantly searching for new researchers and you are hereby invited to join our New Staff Orientation at [redacted] on the date of [redacted] at [redacted] o'clock. By failing to attend, the invitation to join our Foundation will be voided indefinitely, this line of work we are offering you is not for those who second guess themselves."


We hope to see you there,

The GreenWood Foundation


P.S; As an added security measure, this letter will combust upon the last word being read, please watch your hands.

New Staff Orientation

A group of 15-20 fresh-faced young wizards, sorcerers, and casters of all kinds sit in folding chairs in what looks like a dimly lit warehouse building of unknown use and model. They all chat quietly amongst themselves before at the head of the classroom, a blue dimensional door opens and an Orc in a lab coat steps through.

"Good evening everyone, my name is Dr. Gun'Roth and I will be leading this Orientation. I must apologize for the secrecy of this meeting, as we get further into this you will come to understand why."

"Let me be the first to say: Welcome to The GreenWood Foundation, should you choose to stay with us. This organization is dedicated to the preservation of modernity and normalcy, and we do this through conducting research and experiments involving anomalous items and individuals. To be clear: I happen to be one of these individuals, you snarky fucks probably thought "whats an Orc doing in a lab coat" as soon as I stepped through and let me assure you, I am possessed of a mutation that has heightened my mental faculties beyond anything you could possibly imagine"

Calms his growing Orcish ire, and with a wave of his hand creates the minor image of a projector with a powerpoint presentation on it

Mission Statement

-Contain

-Catalog

-Study

"There are things in this world that do infact go bump in the night, no I'm not talking about Beholders or Phantasms or WereWolves, I'm talking about the unexplainable. I'm talking about fundamentals fluctuation in the spellweave that cause unexpected results, be them purposeful or accidental. We secure and contain these oddities, and researchers like yourselves conduct experiments and studies to identify these fluctuations and why they happen. Yes, it can be dangerous. Yes, deaths do occur on a not infrequent basis, but these are from operator error and improper adherance to Foundation experiment protocol so do not let that scare you."

Types of Anomalies

-Type Blue

-Type Red

-Type Black*

"Alright simplest first; type blue. For example I am a type blue, which means that due to completely organic natural reasons a mutation formed in me that caused an anomaly. My Brain is 76% larger and more defined than a normal specimen of my race, allowing me to become the first full-Orc director in Foundation history. Lucky me."

"Type Red; this one is a little more tricky to determine. A type red anomaly is one that is the result of direct interference by another entity. For instance; lets say there is a Demi-lich hiding away somewhere with a big old lab and nothing but the endless crawl of eternity ahead of them. Lets also say this Lich figures out how to replicate their soul into living suits of armor, but something happens during the process that causes these replicants to be thrown throughout the continuity of time into other timelines. Those hapless replicants would be type Red; highly anomalous, but otherwise innocent in their creation.

"Best for last; type Black. I will be a minimum of 30 years of field work with zero disciplinary records before you are even considered for a type Black scenario. These are the works of the divine, the callous gods who are allowed to marionette their followers sometimes grow bored and conduct their own experiments. Type Black events are threats to our world, threats to existence which are FAR more common than any civilian would imagine. The only type Black event that i have clearance to share with you is the Legendary Tarrasque, the devourer. It cannot be killed, it cannot be hurt, it cannot be desintegrated, trust me I was there. I will assuage your paranoia and tell you that 404 type Black is contained, I made fucking sure of it"

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