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Ulka V.S. Gozen Devakilla

Within a forest clearing right outside Synàra was 20 foot acres which was the current place of a clan of Bugbears known as “The Skull Crushers”. Synàra was home to mainly elven people, a group the Skull Crushers have no interest in, seeing them all as pompous scrawny bookish types.

“Issat’ all the great n’ powerful Skulltaker of Everblood’s got?” a husky, booming, gravely, woman’s voice rings out. In the middle of the settlement was a pit used for fighting. A long lean yet muscular Bugbear lays on the ground. He is adorned with 2 skulls on either of his shoulders to answer for pauldrons and is wearing a pair of tattered jeans. The Skulltaker didn’t answer the voice that asked the question.

“AHAHAHA!” The voice laughed once more. The Skulltaker pushed himself up with his axe and went in with a strike to attack his foe. His axe was met with another axe. His opponent was prepared for this.

Looking The Skulltaker straight in the eyes was another Bugbear. Compared to Skulltaker’s muscular lean body, this Bugbear had a much larger and fatter body. A long head of shaggy brown hair with ocre tips attached to the yellowish skin of the Bugbear. She has a round fat face with two tusks extending from her mouth and a slight beard and two long pointy ears. She is adorned with a maroon red vest and a black undershirt. Her body is incredibly hairy, the only smooth(ish) that can be seen with her outfit are the undersides of her arms. Her arm fur has darker spots on it. Her legs are covered with a pair of jeans and the crotch area has her large stomach stuffed into it. The jeans and the shirt are bridged with a belt. Her outfit is completed with a pair of boots. That have spikes coming out of the front. This Bugbear knees The Skulltaker in the stomach, causing him to fall into the mud once more. Heavy stomping footsteps approached The Skulltaker.

Oi! I’ve got a joke for you! Whatdya call a cheap Tooth Removal? A RIP-OFF! HAHAHA!” She bellowed the joke to the Bugbear who had recently got half his teeth shattered by her axe. Walking up to Skulltaker, she hits his body with her axe like it’s a golf club hitting a golf ball and The mighty Skulltaker flew across the fighting pit.

“Hahaha… ohh.. By Hruggek! Hoo! If you were trying to make me laugh with dat, git- ya damn well succeeded! Damn funny it was!” The Bugbear woman grabs Skulltaker under her hefty arm bringing Skulltaker close to her.

“Hurrghhh Skulltaker don’t give up so easy…” the clearly disadvantaged Bugbear gasped for air through her arm. The larger Bugbear looked at him with a smug grin.

“Wow you really got enough steam left in ya to act all cocky like that? HA! You’d be betta used for cookin’ rice!” She laughed once more.

“I’m… the biggest… and… the baddest… of ALL Bugbears! Not some fatso who don’t even wear her skulls!” Skulltaker boasted as blood dripped from his mouth.

“You really gotta start workin’ on yer eyesight cuz you WAY off!” Pulling the Skulltaker up to her face, “See this? THIS is what the biggest and the baddest Bugbear in all o’ Quelmar looks like!”

“Ehhhh… You… youz a fatass for sure!” Skulltaker bleats out through his shattered teeth before getting thrown to the ground.

“Hah! Issat’ REALLY comin from someun who calls himself Skulltaker? You must’ve drunk rotten fungus beer to really forget what we call ourselves! Skull CRUSHERS.We ain’t SkullTAKERS. You got to be a real self righteous snotling ta need trophies ta prove your worth!” It was clear at this point which Bugbear was victorious. Cheer of other Bugbears and Goblins watching flooded this battlefield.

“What's da point of dis?” Skulltaker skulked into the mud finally accepting his defeat. The Bugbears and Goblins all quieted up to hear what the victor had to say.

“I wanted to show you. And every other Bugbear ‘ere who the biggest and the baddest is! That would be me! Ulka! I am the mightiest Bugbear for this clan! Don’t you lot ferget! If you’z wanna prove yourself… My axe is always ready.” The makeshift stadium erupted into excited roars. This is where Ulka knew she belonged. At the top of all these Bugbear, as the biggest and the baddest. Skulltaker accepted defeat.


Later that night, Ulka was getting ready for bed. She retired into her tent taking off her ill fitting armor which let her excessive body breath much better. Letting out a sigh after another day of fighting and winning, Ulka knew she had spent it well and fell into the land of dreams. About 3 hours into her sleep Ulka was awoken by the sound of commotion. Running out of her tent Ulka, only grabbing her Axe, found the Skull Crusher settlement surrounded by ice. All around her bugbears lay dead or unconscious. The Lootin Tootins running in every which direction. The confusion and cacophony of this situation had an area on the edge of where the cold blanketed the clan. Amid this chaos Ulka threw a handaxe at it. It struck true.

“Hmmph.” a deep masculine voice rang out. Phasing into reality was a figure with blue skin. This giant stood at 12 feet tall, blue skin and two tusks. This giant had a white mohawk on his head with the sides of his head shaved. Collar popped and the top of his muscular chest coming out of his v-cut olive shirt. On his shirt there is a band of knives He wears two gloves that match his shirt. His pants are olive as well and he has a set of boots that cover almost the entirety of his pants and sneak under his belt. After blinking out of his invisibility this massive blue pile of muscles approaches Ulka. Bracing herself with her axe, Ulka was ready to fight. The figure grabbed his glaive, all while eyeing Ulka up and down before whispering under his breath “unsatisfactory. Far too girthy for the pelt to be worth anything after it’s likely been stretched out.”

“Who are you!?” Ulka snapped at the villain before initiating combat. Ulka foregoing any kind of surprise attack that most Bugbear are known for went in with a mighty strike. The attack landed true into the chest of the monster doing a fair chunk of damage to her foe. Enraged with the state of her clan being like this Ulka surged with action and the adrenaline flowed through her body as she went in for another strike however her blind fury and aggression would cause her to overlook accuracy. Her axe sunk into the mud.

“I am Gozen Devakilla. I am an Oni. I have no quarrel with you. You are worth nothing to me. If you turn around now I will let you go.” As he was saying this, the Oni’s hands began gesturing in strange motions. Ulka, enamored with rage didn’t even notice that this fiend was casting a spell known as Charm Person. Ulka BARELY scraped by this deception shrugging off the magic. If this man was going to best her, it would be with glorious martial combat. After this the cut on his chest from her axe began to reform almost as if his skin was regenerating, threading itself together. Ulka went in for another attack with her Axe

“You’z REALLY think I’ll let you off! After what ya did! Your life’ll end due ta me! Ulka!” Ulka shouted after landing another hit dealing as much damage as she possibly could in one swing. The axe sunk once more into Gozen’s side. Gozen simply shook his head.

“If that’s how it’s going to be then I will oblige,” Gozen said, raising his glaive once more however a sharp pain in his side from Ulka’s axe caused him to swing wide, disarming him. Annoyed with this, Gozen went in for an attack with his claws. Gozen slashed across Ulka’s fat belly. If she had worn her armor Ulka would have been able to block this attack. Matching her in might, the Oni dealt a massive amount of damage to her. After this attack Gozen’s side started to regenerate but was not able to fully heal off all the damage Ulka caused to him. Ulka went in for another strike going wide. Finding her second wind, Ulka was able to give herself another adrenaline boost, this one almost shrugging off the damage Gozen just dealt to her.

“This farce has gone on long enough.” Gozen raised his sharp claws up to Ulka’s face dealing a ton of damage and scarring the right side of her face. As blood gushed from it Ulka realized she had exhausted all her options. Going in for one last strike of glory Ulka landed a final hit into Gozen, not caring if he would be able to heal it later. Gozen’s claws, soaked in moonlight went up to Ulka’s face once more

“And now, a lesson for you,” Gozen slashed Ulka’s face once more. After this strike Ulka stumbled very weakened. She felt the same way Skulltaker had felt. Falling to one knee Ulka knew her defeat was coming with his next strike. Ulka braced herself for the worst, and Gozen struck once more with critical damage. This claw strike hit Ulka straight in her left causing her eyeball to smash like the skulls Ulka would so often crush. Ulka fell back an as all consciousness faded from her the battle was over.

Ulka eventually reawoke to see a pair of Goblins from the Lootin Tootins on her stomach, looking as if they were trying to see what she had on her person. As soon as the Goblins noticed she was awake they nervously fell off her.

“Gah! M-miss Ulka!!! Y-you’re still alive?!” The goblins bleated out.

“Yer Damn right I am!” Ulka roared “Where’s that blue punk Gozen Devakilla?! I’M READY FOR ROUND 2!”

“Erm… M-miss Ulka I think there’s more pressing issues…” The goblins pointed out to the slaughter that had gone on. Not a single bugbear remained alive. All of them had been slain and skinned. Ulka saw everyone who she had come to know and appreciate as a clan gone. Disgraced. The shamans of the clan hadn’t a spell to foretell this. Her rival Skulltaker, once proud and boastful, was nothing more than a corpse. At least they’re with Maglubiyet now. Standing in the middle of this carnage Ulka looked down on the two diminutive Goblins.

“You two. Survive. That is all you have to do. One day. I’ll return. I’ll be back with the head of the one who did this. Gozen Devakilla. Your days are numbered.”

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