Dear Reader, the events leading up to this Trieste are contained in the prior volumes of my travel logs. The prior months after leaving the Fey wild are a blur and find me in the city of Isonhound enjoying some well deserved frivolity.
July 15th Entry in the book of Tristram’s Travels (Seglock West Gate)
So there I was, enjoying a bit of steam blowoff wandering about this festival called the Gala of Protection, sliding in a as my Elixir Merchant persona know near and nearer as Balgeiros Quodrephostir the Feywild based Elixir merchant to submit his entry into the cooking contest. I was currently Tristram in the truest bardic form. My search for a crooked game of cards or dice to engage in a favorite pastime of fleecing the fleecer was interrupted by a massive Brouhaha to the south. Sounding like something interesting was happening I wandered down towards the Seglock university seemingly erupting under its own volition. Seeing the Faculty and Students were streaming out, and Adventures were streaming in, the three gates.
Usually outsiders were not allowed in here, so the chance to get to visit was irresistible. Spotting a large Goliath Meat shield, (I mean barbarian) I entered into the gate with several other adventures. I was unsure if this turned out to be a wise decision and I watched the Goliath grab a professor and start yelling at him, and at the same time, a pally performed their own unique form of diplomacy by slapping a hysterical student around. However, the Goliath started forward with a Harengon mounted upon his back, which made this much more interesting, so I again joined the rush inwards. Also, there was a multi headed dragon flying off into the darkening night, so there had to be tales to be written and ballads to sing.
We entered through the café. I must say for some reason I was the first in, which is not normally my style, but there were children in danger, so I was accidentally overcome by an overabundance of exuberance. That is the only thing I can think of because of my disinclination to get smacked in the face by random beasties usually keeps me somewhere behind the various metal clad meat shields.
There were still a number of children, a professor, a really ugly Orc, and 4 goblins. Now these were not run of the mill humanoids, they had been enhanced with poison and beefed up on the nasty scale. As you know I am usually adverse to violence, but again there seemed to be an unreasonable amount of hostility in the humanoids towards the staff and students. Setting my sights on the Orc, I noticed he had some sort of arcane metallic device in his hands, which I figured could not be good for the collective welfare of the inhabitants of the room, which as of yet was inclusive of only 3 students , Professor Galloway, and myself. Hoping to not regret my impudent entry, I successfully cast Hold Person on the Orc. I must have caught him by surprise because he was in the middle of a rather satisfying ear scratch.
My companions of circumstance were quickly entering the room with Harengon toting Goliath swooped in with a speed belaying his size. Full of rage, Vadath the swift-of-foot cleaved the Orc’s arm clean off. The Arm did not fall as it was attached to the Orc via the ear. A follow up swing took the rest of the Orc out. The rest of the impromptu party arrived and arrows flew, swords flashed, and spells were cast. One goblin who came out of the kitchen area, wielding a saber and a meaty chicken leg bore down upon the fleeing students, despite the efforts of Linden Rue ( the Harengon Cleric) and Delphi ( a Dragonborn Bard) landing magical blows, the Goblin bit into a student, dropping him. I quickly ran up to the fallen child, shooting Chicken Leg in the face with my hand crossbow. The goblin was staggered by my boldness, and was really staggered when I in full summer fury misty stepped away with the fallen child, causing Chicken Leg and a few other nearby Goblins to burn with the Fury of the sun. Chicken Leg was then quickly fried as the chicken leg he used to hold. It was too late for the child, he was gone, so I thought the death screams of the Goblin were particularly melodic.
During the fray an additional Orc entered the room, and quickly noped out the way he came. Patches the Scarecrow Ranger left in quick pursuit. While Zen the Misnamed Human Paladin questioned Professor Galloway with amazing restraint ( I don’t think he hit the professor once) I went to check out the device the Orc was holding. Valdath spoke in clear sentences that had actually held thought and complexity in which he explained about the Ex Professor Horatio Chesire and the havoc he has created using his… creations of Chesire Goblins, Chesire Orcs, and other foul creatures using his secrets of forbidden Alchemy. I instantly disliked Horatio due to the lack of imagination he used for his creations. Down with narcissism.
My investigation of the Orc object (most likely Chesire object) and indignation of creativity was interrupted by the return of the Ranger mentioning there were more baddies in the halls, and since that was the direction Valdath the coherent wanted to go I figured I would travers the halls behind the meat shields.
Coming to a bend, there were Orcs and Goblins running willy-nilly through the dorm room frantically searching for something. I again reacted first, stepping in front of my shields to get a clear shot with my crossbow and flattening against the wall to allow the calvary to charge by (with pally trying to keep up) and turn another Orc into pudding. The battle was good fun, until Omen( the Teifling Warlock) mentioned there was a large metal golem approaching from behind. It came around the corner we had just vacated and walloped Patches the Ranger, stunning him.
Seeing that this construct has some sort of purpose and was headed somewhere in particular, ignoring the side rooms, I came up with a cunning plan. Yelling for the party to duck into the side rooms and let it pass so we could follow it, I shot an orc and followed my suggestion. Patches staggered into my room and collapsed upon the bed. Apparently an Orc down the hall followed my suggestion. Omen misty stepped behind the Iron monstrosity and confronted a cowering professor who was following the golem and suspiciously not running out the cleared way through the cafeteria.
So my plan was a good one, almost foolproof. It was not Barbarian Proof. The large Barbarian turned and charged down the length of the hall and into the larger chain wielding monstrosity. The noise was extraordinary as the Big Machine of Speedy Death squared off with the Golem. The golem got a good lick or two in, literally smashing Valdath into the floor. Vadath was able to hang on to this level by his armpits while Poor Linden Rue plummeted to the level below. I did point out this course of action was obviously better
It is said you cannot keep a good man down, and a Bunny can hop, so up came Linden and she squared off in hare-raising fashion next to the once again standing Vadath. This did not have to be a last stand as Omen was able to melt the golem from behind.
At the other end of the hall the Pally hung out, smacked some Orcs around and then he charged as best he could back towards the golem, a bit too late to reach it. This left the Cleric’s Carrot of Doom and Delphi to hold the line, So I wandered down to assist. Shooting and scooting into rooms along the way. Delphi dispatched an Orc she was playing some sort of weird yo-yo game with after a well placed bolt in the ass by myself as an assist.
She was in full murder hobo as she squared off against the last remaining Orc. The Orc that was smart enough to follow my suggestion of ducking into the rooms, it should be noted. They squared off in a Orc vs Lizard duel. A duel that the Orc won. We quickly downed the Orc and revived Lillith.
The Party turned its attention to the quarrelsome Professor. Having arrived late on the scene, I was greeted by the sight of Zen the ironically named beating the stuffing out of the Professor under a Zone of Truth Spell. I do not cast Godly magic, nor am I a godly follower, But I thought the spell might get better results if you actually asked questions between punches, or maybe just ask simple yes or no questions sans punching.
Once the Pally was done with his form of interrogation, Linden Rue was able to get some answers, although the most telling answer was silence to the query of ‘ if the professor was going to hand over his research and work with Chesire to save his own skin.’ The Meat shields apparently decided to abscond with the Research the professor had and the professor himself and take both to their guild headquarters. The guild is called the Banded metal bird or some such.
