Sick of this Shit Incorporated (sometimes just called SotS or SotS Inc) is a rehabilitation program headquartered in Granite that prides itself on rehabilitating convicted criminals while also doing good deeds at the same time.
History[edit | edit source]
Sick of this Shit Inc was founded by Zugs McFlair with help from
Anema E. Core and Doraleous in the year 693 PR, named after their own adventuring team known as Sick of this Shit.
Dardin finally agreed to join the SotS alliance in 739 PR only if the guild kept it's criminal under magical supervision, even going as far as to supply the guild with a rotating team of scryers.
Articles of Incorporation[edit | edit source]
The founding members (Anema E’Core, Zugs McFlair, Doraleous Walken) receive five percent of the net profits monthly. One percent saved for the founders directly; four percent saved as a safety net for Sick of this Shit Inc.
In the case of emergency or bankruptcy. All three founding members will still have access to the four percent savings for personal use, but only if the transaction is signed off by all of the founding members. Five percent of the net profits will also go to financing The Anema Institute of Discovery. Seven percent of the net profit will go to the health care plan. The more each member participates in adventures, the less their co-pay will be for medical needs.
Three percent will then pay for the salary of the staff members that do not participate in adventuring because of their administrative duties. The remaining eighty percent of the profits will go back to the members who participated in each particular mission. Sick of this Shit Inc. offers health benefits and more that make it worth the slight cut in profits.
Sick of this Shit Inc. ask for grants and local funding from the city of Granite. Sick of This Shit Inc. is a limited liability company. Any shareholder is not responsible for dramatic falls in profits.
"The Founders"[edit | edit source]
"The Founders of Sick of this Shit Incorporated were themselves urchins, criminals, and outlanders. Like many of us here today, they ran from their past, they broke laws to survive, and they dabbled in the mysterious ways of Quelmar, traveling to all corners of the realm, there isn’t a secret they didn’t hunt down. Over their years together, they found that though they came from vastly different backgrounds and power sets, the help they received from each other was enough to encourage them to keep pushing to save others. In doing so, they saved themselves. Here at Sick of this Shit, the founders hope that we can do the same for you. We handpick those convicts with conviction, and grant them opportunities: many similar to the trials that the Founders underwent nearly 50 years ago. Pteris owes a lot to the deeds we’ve accomplished here, whether it was investigation work, protection work, recovery work, or even magical work. The Founders were sick of the shitty cards they were dealt, and that’s why they worked to make a difference. And here ---we’re Sick of this Shit too." - Taken from the SotS Inc Indoctrination Manual
The company treats its founders with a wide reaching respect, with many faculty and staff seeming almost religiously devoted to the rules and guidelines of the founders.
The Founders' Guidelines[edit | edit source]
These principles of quest-taking have long guided members of SotS for nearly 50 years. When considering what actions to take on the adventuring trail, consider these 6 guidelines straight from the mouths of the founders.
6 Simple Guidelines When Completing Your Quest
- Don’t be an asshole.
- If you are an asshole. You will be held in contempt. You are a criminal and we remember that.
- Do not frame people for crimes to help them join SotS. There will always be criminals who need and want help.
- Do what needs to be done to complete quest goals.
- You will receive the benefit of the doubt.
- Above all else, remember these words---Honor, Justice, and Rehabilitation.
Organization[edit | edit source]
The headquarters, located in Granite was composed of a two story main building, and a mage tower located in the back yard. Unknowingly to the members, there were also several subterranean chambers, under the main building as well as the mage's tower.
The mage's tower, being surrounded by criminals, was given utmost protection, including charms and enchantments that kept anyone but the hired mages from entering. It was also alarmed at all hours of the day that no mages were present, as to alarm the guild if it was every intruded upon.
The protections of the mage's tower were so severe that it even kept famous criminal Killis Goodman from entering, though he would frequently test the defenses by sending new guild members to break in.
Budget[edit | edit source]
At it's most popular time, the guild brought in nearly 200,000 GP a month. While admittedly a large amount of that came from The Shadowgate (a secret criminal organization running under the table), the other half of the guild's income came from taxing the members on the loot they gained in quest taking, as well as donations from a variety of sponsors. Partnerships with the gambling hall, magic shop, and library in Granite supplied about 10k GP, and individual donors from around Oppidan also helped pay the bills. Some of the wealthier donors are listed here:
- Mr. Eanellas
- Ms. Amblecrown
- Mr. Aninduil
- Mr. Finde
- Lord Imrotel
- Ilarwel
- Doctor Findanye
- Lord Nimlaser
- Lord Gilmarie
- Neladrie
The costs of the guild also ran nearly 100,000 GP a month, mostly due to the guild matching the promised rewards of all of the quest postings. Other expenses included paying the staff, and a small stipend to be paid out to the families of Motto and Barty. All income that went unspent was generically written off as "Founders Share", where it likely just went into the pockets of Anema E. Core.
Staff Positions[edit | edit source]
President[edit | edit source]
- Anema E. Core was the founding president
- Benny the Bard took over shortly after, as Anema retired to a domestic life.
The Board[edit | edit source]
As well as a president, SotS operated a board of overseers who reviewed any controversial events that occurred while criminals were on missions. Members of the board included:
- Dr. Kimbleton Missilekid Esq.
- Sumhumdum Rumdrum
- Irginous Trout
Scouts[edit | edit source]
Scouts were responsible for visiting penitentiaries and prisons in the Oppidan region and, having been given permission to take them into the guild, offer them a series of questions and determine whether they are a good fit for the guild. Several examples of scouts include:
Guard[edit | edit source]
Front Desk[edit | edit source]
- Sturm Brightlblade, heir to the throne, a small boy displaced from his home thanks to some wild Nilbog-created magic, rescued from his crumbling kingdom and delivered to SotS, he was given the job of front-deskman.
Resident Mage[edit | edit source]
SotS Inc employed one archmage who would work out of the adjacent tower on site. The archmage was typically a very trusted associate of the guild, often times with a history of working with the current or past guild presidents. The resident mage was also given the freedom to employ a small handful of helpers or apprentices to work with them in the tower.
The duties of the mage didn't just involve research and looking into strange items given to the guild, but to also provide services include curse-breaking, disease-removal, and if it really came to it, resurrection. The practices of the mage were recorded in great detail, and every spell purchased by members was documented so that unusual activity could be flagged (such as a member purchasing far too many potions of invisibility).
Scryer[edit | edit source]
As members of SotS are in fact convicted criminals, unleashing them on the world would be dangerous without a level of supervision. Because of this, Dardin (who also conveniently had the largest prison) agreed to release jurisdiction of their criminals to SotS ONLY if they are shadowed by a team of scryers. The scryers live underneath the mage tower and are paid well for their services, but are not technically on SotS payroll, as Dardin supplies them. A few known scryers include:
- Ellivan Forgedawn, Elf
- Quogeon Strifelaugher, Gnome
- Jamven Fletcher, Human
Guild Postings[edit | edit source]
See List of SotS Inc Guild Postings
Lucinda the Siren was the residential postings officer, and was specifically picked for the position as she could use her charm to calm the emotions of distraught citizens coming in to talk about the catastrophes they need help with.
Postings could be submitted to the guild by any party, and information supplied was directly put down on parchment as to not leave any details out. This could lead to some very confusing postings at times, but it was better than forgetting a details.
Postings followed a very specific template, and every quest put up for the members of SotS included the following information:
- Title: Typically designed to catch the eye of the members
- Difficulty: On a scale of "none" to "absolutely lethal"
- Client: The name of the party or parties who submitted the quest
- Location: Where the members are expected to go to start the quest
- Quest: Information on the services needed.
- Client Reward Offered: What the clients are offering as payment.
- SotS Matching: A reward given by the guild itself for completing the quest, typically tries to match the client's reward, or if not possible, something else desirable like fine cheese.
Members who accepted a quest were kept under strict standard regarding their quest, and were expected to report back all that they accomplished every mission. In the event that a quest was not accomplished correctly or, unfortunately, someone was killed during a quest, the members were expected to attend interrogations, the information would then be filed into an Inciting Incident Report.
Guild Membership[edit | edit source]
When being evaluated for membership, potential members are given a questionnaire with the following questions:
- What is your real name? (Used to generate the SotS Alias)
- What crimes were you incarcerated for? This will be kept confidential.
- Do you believe yourself to be innocent of these crimes?
- What do you consider yourself to be an expert in?
- Do you have experience in working on life-endangering projects with others?
- Have you ever gotten into a fight?
If the answers to the questions please the guild, then the members are assigned their Alias (based on their real name) and are shown to a small chamber on the second floor where they can sleep. The headquarters hold enough beds for roughly 20-25 members at any given time.
Now part of the guild, the members can check the Posting Boards located both inside and outside the headquarters. Alongside the quest postings is a the Ranking Chart.
Member Ranking System[edit | edit source]
Over the course of the day, the Member Ranking Chart is updated with the points that members have received. All members start at 0, and gain a number of points each quest depending on the quest's lethality. Though the members are not told this, the points reflect a number of months taken off of their sentence. Thus a criminal with 48 months (4 years) of prison time can get their pardon after collecting 48 points.
Another way that members can gain points involve "spontaneous tasks of selflessness", a term referring to any sort of helpful task performed by a member while out on a quest that does not relate to the quest at hand. This is to encourage members to generally do-good wherever they venture. These acts, however, must have a witness signature, typically from the person assisted.
Notable Members[edit | edit source]
For notable player character members, see List of Player Characters (SotS Inc)
- Kinky Guttsy
- WubWub ZoomZoom, an ex-vecnan cultist who traveled with Kinky Guttsy as part of his 'team'
- Grumble Fist-Patrick
- Balmy Bucket
- Lip Und
- Zizzles Ya'Heard
- Tickle Detoor
- Grumble Killer
- Frankerwood McGee
- Viperform Cooter
- Surely Uh
- Frankerwood Sninky
- Yammy Quank
- Janky Frazzle
- Actual Lemon
- Uh…Ewww
- Slite Detoor
- Und Frankerwood
- Lip Balm
- Sninky Stinker
- Hippydip Ipsytip - Hobgoblin, Helped in the SotS Resurrection
- Uh Willis - Human, Helped in the SotS Resurrection
- Kinky Ya'Heard - Half Orc, Helped in the SotS Resurrection
