Talleyrand

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Talleyrand as seen at Centre Fest

Talleyrand is one of Quelmar's many reclaimed populations of creatures, monsters, and beasts.

Everything on this page was invented by the attendees of Centre Gives Fest 2023, who visited a booth and world-built on a shared table using the rules of The Deep Forest.

History

King Goosedorah

Long ago on the site of Talleyrand, a kingdom stood under the fearsome King Goosedorah, a kaiju sized, five headed goose who ruled fiercely over a kingdom of multi-headed monsters.

But in modern times, long after the kingdom fell, humans moved in to the area, building skyscrapers and factories, including a metal sheet manufacturing factory and a nuclear powered barbed wire factory.

A modern group of monsters decided they would settle here, and shortly after moving into the area, the monsters of Talleyrand discovered a lost hidden treasure trove left by the humans. When they opened the buried chests, they discovered an endless amount of Money!

After the monsters reclaimed the land, and covered all of their needs, they needed something to do with all of the money they had dug up, and as such, celebrated their first ever festival, called Centre Gives, which involved sharing the money with each other.

Notable Landmarks

Glitterstone Falls

Glitterstone Falls was the source of clean and pure water in the area. It was actually the only clean and pure water in a 50 mile radius. It also had the added feature that it sparkled under a full moon, perhaps a bit of strange residual magic left in the water or riverbed that kept it pure, even in close proximity to a nuclear powered factory. It flowed into Glitterstone Stream which provided water all down and throughout the town. The magic glowing of the water even seemed to affect the fish, making them also glow at night, allowing for the monsters of Glitterstone to easily obtain fish, their main source of food.

The Mystical Duck Pond

Glitterstone stream meandered off into a small pond located between 3th and Andy's lairs. This pond contained a family of Mystical Ducks, who had a supernatural ability to find fruit in the neighboring woodlands. They would bring the fruit back to Talleyrand and feed it to the monsters, but were always afraid that one day they wouldn't find enough fruit and THEY would become the meal.

Eventually due to their fears, they fled Talleyrand, never to return, and leaving the mystical pond empty and lifeless....until Zazu's funeral. After the funeral and accompanying festival, a good omen appeared: lilies flourished out of the pond, perhaps signing that there was a blossom of life ahead of the town, despite the loss of Zazu.

The Magic Obelisk

After unearthing the bones of the land's original ruler, King Goosedorah, the residents of Talleyrand got together to build a monument in his honor, realizing that this land was in fact the holy ground and they had made an accidental pilgrimage to the land of the multi-headed.

The Rift

Shortly after building the magical obelisk, the residents of Talleyrand activated it, opening up a strange portal in the center of town. Unfortunately, no one in town was brave enough to delve into the portal, and where it leads is still unknown.

The Toppled Tower

Remnants of the former housing and office complexes of the humans who once lived in Talleyrand, the toppled tower was the most alliterative of all landmarks: Boulders, Bones, and old name Badges littered the ground around the ruins. It was very smelly, and monsters avoided going near the tower whenever possible. However, the monster Andy found it to be a suitable home, and lived his whole life there, even bringing his pet humans to the area to repopulate it.

Barrister Braun's Barbed Wire Factory

"Owie" - No gloves were given out at this factory by the humans who ran it, which lead to very painful memories being made here by humans and monsters alike.

A nuclear powered factory that was meant to build barbed wire, the barbed wire, perhaps due to its radiation, made for a delicious meal that Andy loved to eat so much. He ate the barbed wire from the factory so much that it "unsettled" the other residents of the town, adding to the strange mysteries and confusion that surrounded the already very confusing Andy.

The factory later served as the source of radiation needed to create a powerful cure when the town was diseased.

Residents

3th

3th (pronounced Threeth) was a 3 Headed Ghost who founded Talleyrand along with his companions Thrawn and Andy.

3th was a ghost, so he didn't eat fish like Andy and Thrawn, and instead ate S'MORES! 3th's lair near the river had a permanent Smore's fire going, which was created from other monsters' fire breath. 3th would invite monsters over to have smores and not be so lonely.

For the longest time it was unknown what kind of ghost 3th was, until one winter when the tribe decided to undergo a mystic ritual, and in the process sacrificed 3th's ghostly essence, combined with the nuclear reactor waste and the auras of the town's interdimensional portal, to recreate a new living form for 3th.

When 3th was reborn into a mortal form again, it was discovered that he was in fact a 3 headed GOOSE, and in fact the descendant of King Goosedorah, the original ruler of the land. 3th may have in fact led people here because it was the homeland of his people after all.

Andy

Born of a broken heart, Andy was an emotion monster who swung wildly into mood swings. Some days Andy was awesome and happy, some days Andy was mean and angry. Andy could also teleport, and was like a chameleon, he could blend in and hide around any tree or corner, making him the sneakiest of all the town's monsters.

Andy's Humans

After the town was properly flourishing under the monsters. A group of human traders stumbled into the clearing, injured and starving. While most of the town agreed the right move was to banish or kill the intruders, Andy saw something in them that broke his little heart, and decided to take the injured humans in under his wing, where they would live with him in the toppled tower. They sided with Andy and he began to show the other monsters that not all humans are bad.

Unfortunately for the humans, though, they were ONION TRADERS, which deeply upset Zazu, who was allergic. This eventually led to beef between Zazu and the humans (and Andy) and was the powderkeg that lead to the eventual cause of war on humans. It is not known what happened to Andy's humans once the town became aggressive and started to prepare for war on all humans.

Tralkin'Thrawn aka "The Moist"

The largest and scariest of all the monsters in Talleyrand, Thrawn was a massive hydra, a 4 headed dragon snake fish who lived under the Talleyrand Falls. They, however, did not call him "The Moist" because of his underwater lair, but rather because he was VERY sweaty. He sweated profusely, and perhaps that is why he lead a lonely life before coming to Talleyrand, where he was accepted by the other monsters, including Andy.

Thrawn would be the first and only monster to have a child in the town, creating Zazu.

Zazu

Also called "The Savory", Zazu was born into Talleyrand as the child of Thrawn "The Moist", and immediately dubbed the Prince of Sauces. Why is this? Perhaps as a child he rolled around the waste in the city, or perhaps it was all he ever ate. Either way, in his saucy experiences, we learned that he was allergic to onions, causing a ban on them throughout Talleyrand.

Zazu unfortunately got into a heated arguement with Andy (see above) after Andy purchased onions from human traders who were brought into the town. Bringing in a taboo like onions brought ire and wrath of the young Zazu on Andy, and likely angered Zazu's parent as well.

Unfortunately for Talleyrand, Zazu's fear and hatred of more onions caused them to storm out one evening, disappearing. The whole of Talleyrand gathered up their tools and people to look for the missing Zazu, and after a short period of time, the worst possible result happened:

Zazu died, recovered from the deep forests when the winter frosts meleted, with obvious injuries caused by a HUMAN attack. The loss of poor little Zazu caused the monsters to take up arms (as well as the weapons, hammers, and axes they recovered from the scene) to begin work on a war on humans.

The Mystical Pond Ducks

The ducks who lived in the Mystical Duck Pond (see Landmarks above).

Maximilius Cornelius

Also known as "Max", Max was a tall boy who snuck into town one evening to live where the wild things are. Not just any boy though...a HUMAN boy wearing a bunny suit and a crown. The monsters of Talleyrand quickly figured out that Max was a human, but the fact that he had given up his human ways to try to live like a monster gave him a pass. Everyone else agreed to keep it a secret that they knew Max was a human, and continued to let him think he blended in perfectly. It also helped that he smelled nice.

It may have been Max's disappearance from the human world that led to other groups of humans to scout out the Talleyrand area, events that would snowball and eventually lead to the final war being declared on humans. It is unknown which side of the war Max would choose.

Bussesses

Bussesses was a leucrotta, a hideous monster that lurked far from civilization. They were frighteningly intelligent creatures that used their vocal imitation abilities to lure the unsuspecting, animal or humanoid, into their simple but effective traps. This leucrotta, lonely and bullied by other monsters in the wilds, stumbled upon Talleyrand, and found it to a perfect new home. While he didn't have multiple heads like others in Talleyrand, he DID have 5 strange eyes on his big head. Other monsters, when asked, said that Bussesses was "mean". But they didn't kick him out.

Likes and Dislikes

The humans who abandoned Talleyrand left behind some remnants of their life there. Some of them the monsters took to, while others the monsters avoided and disliked.

The monsters of Talleyrand REALLY liked the:

• Towels (great for monsters like "The Moist")
• Fruit
• Food
• Free Stuff
• Tents

But of the taboo things left behind, there were a few things the monsters REALLY disliked, including:

• the Excavator! A massive terrible machine of destruction, the root cause of so many monsters being displaced from their homes all over the realm.
• People! Even the sight of a human nearby could drive the monsters crazy. This eventually led to their war on the humans.
• Loneliness - The few monsters who lived here only had each other, they all came from bad heartbreaks and needed the help of a friend.
• Smells - the humans stuff left behind SMELLED terrible. Unfortunately they didn't have a way to disguise or hide the smell, so they mostly stayed away from the nuclear reactor in town.
• ONIONS. Zazu the young, first monster born into the town, was allergic to onions. As a result, they were 100% off limits to anyone coming into town. This dislike of onions turned into a vile hatred after the first humans started to come back.

The Story of Talleyrand 1

(This version is by James)

Talleyrand, a land once ruled by the fearsome King Goosedorah and his kingdom of multi-headed monsters, underwent a transformation in modern times. Humans moved into the area, erecting skyscrapers and factories, including a metal sheet manufacturing and nuclear powered barbed wire factory. The monsters of Talleyrand, however, stumbled upon a hidden treasure trove left behind by the humans. Opening the buried chests, they discovered an endless amount of money.

With their newfound wealth, the monsters reclaimed the land and celebrated their first-ever festival called Centre Gives. This festival involved sharing the money among themselves, ensuring their needs were met. Talleyrand became a place of peculiar and notable landmarks.

Glitterstone Falls, the source of clean and pure water in the area, was a magical sight. The water sparkled under the full moon, seemingly unaffected by the nearby nuclear powered factory. Glitterstone Stream provided water throughout the town, and its magical properties extended to the fish, making them glow at night, an easy catch for the monsters who relied on them for sustenance.

The Mystical Duck Pond, located between 3th and Andy's lairs, once housed a family of ducks with the supernatural ability to find fruit in the neighboring woodlands. They fed the fruit to the monsters of Talleyrand, ensuring their survival. However, due to their fears of not finding enough fruit, the ducks eventually fled the town, leaving the pond empty and lifeless. During Zazu's funeral, a good omen appeared as lilies flourished in the pond, signaling a potential resurgence of life despite the loss.

The monsters of Talleyrand, in honor of their land's original ruler, King Goosedorah, built a magical obelisk using his unearthed bones. This accidental pilgrimage site held a sense of reverence for the monsters, but when they activated the obelisk, a strange portal appeared in the center of town. No one dared to venture into the portal, leaving its destination unknown.

The Toppled Tower, remnants of the former human housing and office complexes, lay scattered with boulders, bones, and old name badges. The foul smell emanating from the ruins deterred most monsters from approaching, but Andy found it to be a suitable home. Andy, an emotion monster with mood swings and teleportation abilities, lived there with his pet humans, who sought refuge in the toppled tower. The presence of humans in Talleyrand caused tensions, especially after Zazu's allergic reaction to the onion-trading humans, leading to a brewing conflict between the monsters and the humans.

3th, a three-headed ghost, was one of the founders of Talleyrand. He had a unique preference for S'MORES and created a permanent fire near the river to enjoy them with other monsters. Through a mystic ritual that involved sacrificing his ghostly essence, 3th was reborn as a mortal—a three-headed goose and descendant of King Goosedorah. This revelation hinted at 3th's hidden purpose in leading people to Talleyrand, as it was the homeland of his own kind.

Thrawn, also known as "The Moist," was a massive hydra named after the sweat that profusely covered its body. Thrawn lived under the Talleyrand Falls and, despite his lonely past, found acceptance among the other monsters, including Andy. Thrawn became the only monster in Talleyrand to have a child, Zazu, who was affectionately called "The Savory" due to his saucy experiences, potentially involving rolling around in waste or peculiar eating habits.

Zazu, born as the child of Thrawn, became the Prince of Sauces. His severe onion allergy led to a ban on onions in Talleyrand, causing tensions between Zazu and Andy when the latter brought onions into the town through human traders. The conflict escalated, and one fateful evening, Zazu disappeared. The monsters of Talleyrand rallied together, searching tirelessly for their missing prince. Unfortunately, their search ended in tragedy as they discovered Zazu's lifeless body, bearing obvious injuries from a human attack.

The loss of Zazu deeply affected the monsters, igniting a desire for revenge and justice. They gathered their weapons, hammers, and axes, preparing for a war against humans. Meanwhile, Talleyrand attracted the attention of other groups of humans, potentially due to Max, a human boy who had abandoned his human life and tried to blend in with the monsters. Max wore a bunny suit and a crown, unaware that the monsters were aware of his true identity. The monsters, out of compassion and appreciation for his willingness to live like them, kept Max's secret and allowed him to continue living among them.

One notable resident of Talleyrand was Bussesses, a leucrotta known for its vocal imitation abilities. Despite being considered mean by other monsters, Bussesses found solace in Talleyrand and made it his new home. The monsters had their likes and dislikes when it came to the remnants of human life left behind. They appreciated items like towels, fruit, food, and tents, but they despised the destructive excavator machines, the presence of humans, loneliness, unpleasant smells emanating from human artifacts, and most of all, onions due to Zazu's allergy.

As tensions grew between the monsters and humans, Talleyrand stood at the brink of a war that would determine the fate of both species in the region. The monsters, fueled by their love for their fallen prince and a desire for retribution, prepared themselves for the impending conflict. The outcome of this war and the role that Max, the human boy living among them, would play remained uncertain.

In the land of Talleyrand, a delicate balance between monsters, their reclaimed territory, and the remnants of human influence hung in the air. The town was filled with magic, mysteries, and a deep sense of longing for companionship and understanding. The monsters, once broken-hearted and displaced, now stood united, ready to defend their newfound home and seek justice for the loss of their beloved prince, Zazu.