| Player Name | Brendan E. |
|---|---|
| Languages | Common, Elvish, Undercommon |
| Affiliations | Brightwater Adventuring Team |
| Date of Birth | 162 BR |
| Place of Birth | Brightwater |
| Species | Changeling |
| Height | Unknown |
| Weight | Unknown |
| Eye Color | Unknown |
Eugene Epond (who goes by the stage name "Gene E.") is a bard in the Brightwwater campaign. He is an accomplished musician and seamster.
Life in Brightwater[edit | edit source]
Gene E. was born and raised in Brightwater. At a very young age, Gene's father, a doppelganger of unknown name, left never to be seen again. But he left behind two possessions: a book titled "Aladdin" with a bright blue genie on the cover and a good old-fashioned six string. This was his first introduction to the world of music.
He was raised by his mother, Doris (a human), with some help from the rest of the town of course. One of the largest influences in Gene's life was the late, great Brendan Fraser. It was Brendan who taught Gene guitar and flute and was the only father figure Gene has ever had.
He led a fairly normal life. He went to the local schoolhouse, received training from Brendan Fraser, and was generally a very happy and energetic kid. When he was 10, Gene started playing regularly in the Bright Beer Saloon to help out his mother with some of the expenses. He learned to sow and weave so he could make costumes for his acts and it turned into a lucrative side gig. When he was 16, Gene decided it was time to leave the nest. So he packed up and moved to the farthest place he felt comfortable, the Bright Beer Saloon. Ever since, he's been playing nearly nightly for meals and a room.
On Fridays he plays an extra special show that Gene calls "Friday Funday". Friday Funday is a one man show that Gene improvises every week, playing as himself as well as changing into different people from the town to create a smattering of characters. It's a well known secret that the more you tip, the more likely you are to show up as a character in one of Gene's Friday Funday shows. And if you don't tip.... well you might just become the villain of the story.
The Adventure[edit | edit source]
One day Brendan came to Gene with a proposal: go on an adventure with this unopenable jar, it might show the path to Ta-Shedet. Well Ta-Shedet just so happens to be Gene's only lead on where to find a doppelgang (group of doppelgangers) and possibly his dad. So Gene whole heartedly agreed.
Through this adventure, Gene has made great friends but lost his closest. Someday Gene and Brendan will be reunited, whether it is in this life or the next.
Gene's Notable Impersonations[edit | edit source]
As a changeling, Gene has practiced becoming other individuals over and over again, but there are some more popular than others. It must be noted that Gene can only transform into individuals he has seen before and can only mimic an individuals voice if he's heard them speak for about a minute. The following is a list of notable transformations and impersonations that Gene has performed.
| Name | Body? | Voice? |
|---|---|---|
| Brendan Fraser | Y | Y |
| Doris Epond | Y | Y |
| Kevin the Bartender | Y | Y |
| Trapper the Redbrand | Y | Y |
| Ollie Barnett | Y | Y |
| Sildar Hallsummer | Y | Y |
| Elliot Teneithra | Y | Maybe |
| Noktily Nyvyne | Y | Y |
| Rada | Y | Y |
| Tina Stelano | Y | Y |
| Bart | Y | Y |
Gene's Songs[edit | edit source]
Gene has written a number of songs, some of them break the fourth wall, others are entirely in cannon, and they are all played on guitar in standard tuning unless otherwise noted.
"Bard Like Me"[edit | edit source]
(To the tune of "Friend Like Me" by Alan Menken)
[Intro] Dm Bb7 A7
Dm Bb7 A7
Dm Bb7 A7
Bb7 A7 Dm
[Verse 1]
A7 Dm Well we all have at least forty dice
A7 Dm And Kevin has a thousand tales
A7 Dm Dungeon master you're in luck 'cause here
E7 A7 You've got a bard who's magic never fails
Dm You got some guitar in your corner now
A7 Dm Some rockin chords on sunday nights
A7 Dm You got some punch, pizzazz, yahoo and how
E7 A7 See, all you gotta do is roll those dice
A7 And I'll say
[Chorus]
Dm Bb7 A7 Mister Kevin, sir
Dm Bb7 A7 What will your dice roll be?
F Fsus4 Let me take your number
Bb C# Jot it down
Bb7 A7 Dm You ain't never had a bard like me
F Fsus4 Let's roll some dice
Bb C# And have some fun
Bb7 A7 Dm What will the outcome be?
[Outro]
Dm Bb7 A7 D&D Oh yea
Dm Bb7 A7 D&D oh yea
Dm Bb7 A7 D&D oh yea
Bb7 A7 Dm I hope I get a nat 20
"Out in the Dunes"[edit | edit source]
(To the tune of "Under the Sea" by Alan Menken)
[Verse]
C G7 C The sand it leads to despair
C G7 C It's real bad for good ness sake
C G7 C You dream about going out there
C G7 C But that is a big mistake
F C Just look at the world around you
G7 C Right here in Brightwater
F C Such wonderful things surround you
G7 C Why would you go to your slaughter
[Chorus]
F C G7 C Out in the dunes, Out in the dunes
C F G C C7 Oh it's not dandy out where it's sandy , You fucking baboon
F G Oh in the dunes there's scorpions
Am D7 There's big evil monsters and lots of sun
F G Surely you'll fry there, if you don't die there
C G7 C Out in the dunes
"Water from a Cactus"[edit | edit source]
(To the tune of "Watermelon Sugar" by Harry Styles)
[Verse 1]
Dm7 Smells like Brightwater
Am7 On a summer evening
C G And it sounds just like a song
Dm7 I want more water
Am7 And that summer feeling
C G It's so wonderful and warm
[Pre-Chorus]
Dm7 Am7 Drink me in, Drink me down
C G I don't know if I could ever go without
Dm7 Am7 I'm so thirsty right now
C G I don't know if I could ever go without
[Chorus]
Dm7 Water from a cactus high
Am7 Water from a cactus high
C Water from a cactus high
G Water from a cactus high
[Pre-Bridge]
Dm7 I just wanna taste it
Am7 I just wanna drink it
C G Water from a cactus high
[Chorus]
Dm7 Water from a cactus high
Am7 Water from a cactus high
C Water from a cactus high
G Water from a cactus high'
Water from a cactus
"The Ballad of Brendan Fraser (Brendan Fraser Forever)"[edit | edit source]
An original song. It's got a chug chugachug chugachug strumming pattern. Sounds great with walk ups to G (Em - F/G - G) and walk downs to Em (Am - G - F/G - Em)
Starts off somber, but it gets exciting.
[Intro]
Em G When I was a boy
C Am Em Just about three or four years old
G I had no dad
C Am He'd run out and left us years ago
Em G C Am Em
Em G But along came a man
C Am Righteous and just in all he did
Em G He showed me the way
C Am To stand up to bullies and say no way
Em G He said to me
C Am "Gene, you watch out for that tree"
Em G And so today
C Am We sing for him words of praise
Em D C Am
Em D Brendan Fraser
C Am Em You are the light of my life
Em D Burning like a braser
C Am Em Your love illuminates the night
Em D Everyday will be sunny
C Am Em Cuz you know we won't turn you into The Mummy
Em D This town will no longer be hassled
C Am Em By the Redbrands because your memory will leave them bedazzled
Em D And we'll take care of Barb, your shrub
C Am Em We'll be like doctors maybe even wear scrubs
Em What you've taught me will be written on my soul a very special part
C So I guess in a way, you've given me an Inkheart
Em We'll follow this quest you gave us with all our worth
C Even if it leads us on a Journey to Center of the Earth
Em And I know someday we'll be together but for now I'll sing this song
and remember Brendan Fraser forever
Continue singing "Brendan Fraser" over and over until it feels right to move on. Then list all of Brendan Fraser's IMDb acting credits in reverse chronological order.
