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⮞Get Submodule/List of Non-Player Characters

WARNING: THE CLEARANCE RATING OF THIS ARTICLE IS ULTRAVIOLET

If you do not have the clearance level to read the information below, please return to your prior page, or report to the closet Termination Booth

AI NPCs[edit | edit source]

Friend Computer[edit | edit source]

Qui sunt super nos omnes.

Allied Master Computer (AMC)[edit | edit source]

The big bad of the campaign, AMC was the ultimate most evil, controlling, and downright manipulative version of Friend Computer, who could otherwise have been described as gleefully bug-ridden. AMC implanted explosives into the heads of every clone via eye-cameras and killed citizens relentlessly, only to continue their tortue via infinite, free, clones.

Jackobot[edit | edit source]

I am a Jackobot

ImanaBot[edit | edit source]

"I only open for Daddy" - Literally something James had to say while roleplaying this robot fridge.

A refrigerator bot that the team needed to repair. Inside was an old thanksgiving turkey dinner that was slowly rotting.

ScrubBots[edit | edit source]

ScrubBots are typically innocuous robots built to keep everyone sanitary, as cleanliness is next to godliness. The very first mission the troubleshooters went on was to track down a group of Scrubbots which had been hacked and were aggressively (and lethally) scrubbing various citizens faces.

Warbots[edit | edit source]

The most dangerous bots under Friend Computer's army, the team first encountered Warbots when a special Scrub/War bot hybrid was programmed to eliminate all SPAM from the complex, targetting the hacked PDCs of the players (see Marco-G in Mortal NPCs below).

For some strange reason, Warbots frequently were hacked to eliminate Evo.

DocBots[edit | edit source]

Large ominous bots that are comically oversized and unwieldy for an operating room. They rarely showed up, and when they did, did not provide much medical assistance.

Captain Botaroo[edit | edit source]

It's been so long since he's been on the air. One of his rusted arms has a laser barrel, and he tests kids to know if they've been a "good little boy or girl", and his mandate dictates he needs to eliminate any "bad" children, aka communistic mutant traitors.

Funbot[edit | edit source]

"I just came back from the WES Sector and boy are my arms tied. Great crowd great crowd. But seriously folks."

A festive, funny, holiday robot built to satisfy the happiness and enjoyment needs of the troubleshooting team. He would frequently throw pies into the faces of troubleshooters, and other (mostly) harmless pranks. This mostly just got in the way of completing the mission.

The Funbot would randomly (at the insistence of the audience rewards) run away from the team, requiring the team to stop the mission and give chase.

Refbots[edit | edit source]

"INFRACTION DETECTED: Teela-O-MLY Mirrors do not belong on the Battlefield. They belong in the hands and hearts of the people." - Refbot

Repurposed Jackobots, these bots were specially programmed to know the rules to "A Date with Death" and referee the match among the washing machines as part of the "Send in the Clones" adventure. One of them mistook Cinnabon as a child.

SmokeyBot[edit | edit source]

"ONLY YOU. ONLY YOU. ONLY YOU. ONLY YOU. ONLY YOU."

Smokey the BearBot was a one-off automatron built by Sierra Club members in their mission of bringing the joy of The Outdoors into Alpha Complex. Based on some old mythology they had dug up, they believed that the Smokey Bear was a hero and guardian to all things forested, and killed and devoured anyone who dared threaten to damage the beautiful nature of the world.

Hur-Roc-Caine[edit | edit source]

Part Bird, Part Storm: The Hur-Roc-caine who patrols the Valley of Obsolesce is programmed to detect and kill any viable threats to the complex, including rogue AI, commies hiding out from the law, and more. Framing someone in the junkyard makes for a particularly gruesome and satisfying death, as the bird isn't programmed to recognize when it has already killed someone for their crimes. It was also used by AMC (the evil Friend Computer) as an ultimate punishment.

Mortal NPCs[edit | edit source]

Teela-O-MLY[edit | edit source]

The most perfect citizen. Teela also had strange mutation ability to make anyone and everyone fall in love with her from a short distance, with a sort of traitorous pheromone.

Marco-G[edit | edit source]

A traitor and spammer who hacked the PDCs of the troubleshooters in their first adventure. Had a bounty on his head that Evo tried to claim.

Fork[edit | edit source]

Fork was a warforged and high programmer who was around in the foundational days of Alpha Complex, having spent centuries on Kiston (Island) before that.

George-B[edit | edit source]

VATSLIMES.

You are vatslime you vulgar little maggots. Don't you know that you are pathetic? You worthless bags of filth.

You are cankers. Sores that won't go away. Zits on the butt of the Alpha Complex. I would rather kiss a mutant than be even seen with you.

FIX. THE. BOT.

You have one job. The computer believes you can do this job even though you are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist.

I despise everything about you. But I trust you can do the job because the computer says you can do the job.

You are bloody nardless newbies, caricatures of a cloacal parasitic pond worm and I wish you great success in this mission. So that you can then go away.

FIX. THE. BOT.

You're a walking vomit. You are a jerks, cads, weasels. Your lives are a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon. And if you don't get out of my office in 5 seconds I will have you demoted to Infrared faster than you drool puke on your embarrassing bodies.

GO. FIX. THE. BOT.

What are you still doing here you monsters?

Zhon-B[edit | edit source]

A troubleshooter stuck in the sewers of the Alpha Complex for 20 years, Zhon-B had been setting up traps, some of which killed the troubleshooters themselves. Zhon-B, however, was defeated when Gouverneur pulled the all powerful trick of "Look behind you!" and they ran away from him.

Cleto-B[edit | edit source]

A briefing officer for "Send in the Clones" who was killed by PURGE members Cinnabon and Pixel.

The Junior Citizens[edit | edit source]

Also called "JCs", they were a group of kids who had escaped their education centers and fled into the sewers of Alpha Complex, where they stumbled upon a old broadcast studio and sang treasonous songs into the global broadcast.

Friend Computer deeply protected the JCs, causing the players to hold their fire and try to convert the kids to their side with powerful speeches and later violent threats.

Tom-P-GARD[edit | edit source]

"Wait there's no P Clearance" - Hendrix

Tom was an obnoxious, perhaps THE most obnoxious, of the PLC lackeys working in supply. He was a real snot. And I'm glad he's gone.

Ned-G-QQQ[edit | edit source]

One of the stranger R&D researchers. Ned-G was responsible for creating the FunBot. Ned-G was a bit of a loose cannon, often accidentally firing blasters in attempts to look cool.

HAL-Y-OOO[edit | edit source]

"Did you like the taste of that? I got more where that came from" - HAL-Y to fellow druggie Hendrix

A sleezy drug pusher who helped the team track down Teela-O-MLY. He was also the entertainment programmer, whose vidshows were legendary in the sector. Hal had a scandalously high falutent office of many expensive colors, rugs, wallpapers, items, terminals and more.

Hal was slick, short, balding, and entered rooms with a flourish. He was also ALWAYS high on some sort of upper, giving him a manic energy. He was always wiping his lips, sucking on spoons, and showing off his gold chains.

HAL-Y was also secretly the victim of a cloning accident, and all 6 the HALs were decanted and walking around at once, leading to mass confusion to anyone who was doing business with him (them).

Don-Y-YYY[edit | edit source]

The host of "A Date with Death"

The Gorillas[edit | edit source]

A group of massive hulking Vulture Squadron soldiers from the GOG sector who helped out poor Ozzy-R in the "Date with Death"

The Pepsi Generation[edit | edit source]

A group of treasonous individuals, a sub-society of "The Mystics", who have a simple question: "Wouldn't you like to be a Pepper Too?"

They were able to recruit Spencer, Evo, and Pixel briefly into their organization before going to war with the Clone Arrangers, a group led by Teela-O-MLY who used sugary drinks to help create illegal clones.

Their favorite drug was "The Co-Cola", a form of "Caffeine"

Rex[edit | edit source]

An insane cyborg who coated himself in a powerful violet nanoarmor, Rex was the main obstacle in the team's "Patch Job" mission, but was swiftly defeated when Cinnabon reprogrammed his lackey robots to instead choose love over violence, causing them to swarm Rex with big group hugs, just in time for them to ALSO trigger their self destruct sequences.

Rasterman Ganja[edit | edit source]

A cool cat and leader of the Computer Phreaks/Death Leopards during the events of the Yellow Clearance Black Box Blues. He was the first person seen with it, but was quickly shot down as the box exchanged hand over hand over hand.

Rasterman programmed a series of traiterous commercials to run over the illegal Alpha Complex airwaves using life model decoys based on the original team of legends saying terrible, traitorous, things. Rasterman also ran an illegal film studio and recorded the events of the battle the troubleshooters had against him, using it as leverage against them when it demonstrated their incompetence.

Rasterman Ganja's Commercials can be seen here: https://youtu.be/Bs-g7o2YQwQ

Screaming Sarah[edit | edit source]

Screaming Sarah (and her little black box) was a traitor and known holder of the Black Box after she stole it off Rasterman Ganja's body. She used the Black Box to help her hijack the Alpha Complex intercom and play traiterous music which interfaced with a nonlethal chemical that the Death Leopards had secretly put in everyone's food, causing them to "Boogie Till You Drop". Thousands died of exhaustion.

Victor-I-37[edit | edit source]

Originally encountered as Victor-I-6, Victor was an R&D scientist who secretly had the mutant power of "Luck" which would make even his worst creations work perfectly in the lab where he created them, but as soon as the creations left the lab, they almost always failed or blew up spectacularly. Victor was also a nervous wreck at all times since he was on his last life and the Friend Computer had recently banned having more than 6 clones. He had 2 green lackeys: Ned-G and Willis-G. He later worked with one Pende-R-GRA

Oregon Treesgood[edit | edit source]

"You want to kill me? The feeling is mutual, Bub."

A strange man with ill fitting infrared coveralls, he was the source of the mysterious Black Boxes that were being imported into the Alpha Complex. Oregon was a descendent of the Brak bloodline, and lived outside of Alpha Complex, only concerning himself with making money by trading Black Boxes into the Alpha Complex economy. He was killed by the troubleshooters in a face-off to get themselves a Black Box...but his genetic template was kept in secret by the Sierra Club, later recovered by IntSec, and cloned to be used as a mission guide to the team in a top secret adventure to find an escape passage to the Outdoors.

Oregon was given dummy weapons and tools, as IntSec and the Bar (see below) also knew he was a confirmed traitor and outdoors commie.

Nouvelle Vague[edit | edit source]

Nouvelle Vague (french for "New Wave") were a spin-off of The Mystics that were also partially built on the foundations of the Romantics -- They believed in the power of Music as a form of enhancing the experiences of drug influence. In short, they wanted anything and everything musically inclined, but used the music (in whatever form it came in) as a means to reaching even higher highs during their own drug trips.

The NV were based OUTSIDE of Alpha Complex, found in the jungles of Cof, aka "The Outdoors". Around 190 CR they were lead by a warforged/high programmer named Fork.

NV were responsible for the sabotaging of the IslandImpeller, but would also later be convinced to help fix it.

OK Zuners[edit | edit source]

The OK Zuners were a treasonous group of traitors (and possibly commies, or possibly mutants) who revolted against AMC and refused to get their "Eyepods" installed.

The Zuners were led by "Nimdok-I-MOK-1", who used to work for RB's radioactive mitten factory. Nimdok had hacked the Alpha Complex systems to grant himself Ultraviolet clearance so that he could avoid being required to get an Eyepod.

The Cyberpunks[edit | edit source]

Well look at the Beava’ Boys, back already! I see you Fodders weren’t gonks after all. I guess a puppet is worth a little mushi every now and then, eh mate?

The Cyberpunks (also called Edgerunners since they lived on the edge of the island) were another group of treasonous commie traitors who, like Nouvelle Vague above, lived on the beaches (the edge) of Cof outside of the Alpha Complex. They hired the players to smuggle wares out of Alpha Complex as part of a mysterious mission that went sideways in trademark Paranoia fashion. They used a combination of Australian slang (based on Mad Max dystopia) and Cyberpunk slang (based on Cyberpunk 2077 dystopia) in order to sound the most confusing and dystopian way possible.

They gave the players a loot drop from the Phoenix secret society, in the form of Ultraviolet and Indigo weapons and armor, in order to complete the "Cyberpunk Disc Projekt", which was currently in the Red State (also called CD Projekt: Red).

Corvid-19[edit | edit source]

Also called "The Crows", they live in The UnderComplex. They are relentless and will kill anyone they go up against, cancelling any and all plans and keeping people from hanging out together. The only way to defeat them is with Exceptional Hygiene.

James the Beholder[edit | edit source]

A beholder who was in charge of the entire Get Submodule program in the first place, and ultimately, secretly, the campaign BBEG.

The Bar[edit | edit source]

A group of citizens who ran the Troubleshooter program in the days of the Yellow Clearance Black Box Blues. Slowly over the course of those sessions, the members of the bar were carted off, having been accused or confirmed of each also being traitors in their own ways.

Dan-V[edit | edit source]

"Welcome Friend Troubleshooters, our friend the computer has chosen you for this mission...huh...? You say I already said that?"

Dan-V who lead the team, very wise and powerful, but also narcoleptic. Dan-V was prone to repeating himself and forgetting where he was, leading to strange sometimes confusing mission assignments. He is always very inspired by every little thing that the team does, often to the eye-rolling of everyone else.

????-B[edit | edit source]

"Huddah Huddah Hud(?)"

The Blue clearance IntSec expert who resided on the Council unfortunately always had a broken microphone.

Brian-B[edit | edit source]

[Sound of Fortunate Son in the distance]

A Blue citizen from HPD and Housing who was very strict about making sure the BEST leader on the team is given the job to LEAD. Brian was annoyed if a troubleshooter's armor was undamaged, and would often eulogize dead troubleshooters as the perfect example of everything a troubleshooter ought to be. The only thing that truly satisfied Brian-B was a sizeable body count of mutants and/or traitors.

In one particular mission, Brian decided the team had such a failure in leadership, that he himself lead a platoon of vulture squadron soldiers to the heart of the traitor's nest...not realizing it was an abandoned nuclear reactor. As Brian firebombed the troubleshooters and the traitors alike, he killed himself, and also blew open a large hole in the side of the Alpha Complex dome.

Zack-I-VLI-3[edit | edit source]

A careful and considerate member of the bar that only wanted to make sure the troubleshooters were never exposed to Black Body Radiation and never had much else to add to the conversation. The other members of the board called him "The New Kid". It's possible the Black Body Radiation had to do with The Black Box.

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