Alien Colonial Marines

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Alien Colonial Marines is a TTRPG that combines the world of Aliens with the vast future of Quelmar. It began on July 25, 2022.

About

Describe your campaign. Is it about the aftermath or the lead up to a big event? Does it take place in a parallel world or plane?

Player Characters

Sgt. Nix Vakarian

Cpl. Markus Byrne

Robert 'Bob' Omb

Sapphire Rodgers

Mathilda Barbara Minerva

Carl Carlton Carlos

Karl Karlton Karlos

• 

  Sapphire Rodgers

• 

  Robert "Bob" Omb

• 

  Cpl. Markus Byrne

• 

  Sgt. Nix Vakarian

NPCs

James the Synth

Jabberwock (Jabbers) the Cat

Kent Gannon

The Story So Far

Markus keeps a heavily detailed log to recount the squads experiences-

SESSION 1: Nix violates human rights,

Markus aided and abetted Nix’s violations of human rights,

Sapphire’s child probably got atomized,

Mathilda was accused of multiple counts of sexual harassment,

And Karen Eckhart was the victim of a “traumatic event.”

SESSION 2: Nix gets concerning expressions on her face regarding alien wildlife

Markus places landmines on the land of people he just negotiated peace with

Bob attempted to commit armed robbery (technically)

Sapphire didn’t exist and yet somehow still gave us stress points

Carl stepped on a landmine (not Markus’)

Karl disarmed a landmine

And Mathilda got unfathomably rich with OnlyFans feet pics

SESSION 3: Nix gets excited and then almost burns her hands off,

Alpharius (Markus) places numerous explosives and then tries to commit armed robbery like Bob,

Bob succeeds where both he and Markus failed in committing armed robbery,

Sapphire criticizes the ethics of Project Life Force, then tries to take blood samples from a captive inmate,

Carl decides to stop sniping and take up a life as a machete murderer,

Karl freaks because of a couple bugs,

And Mathilda hits on the first bad boy she sees

SESSION 4: Nix gets repeated and consistent nerdgasms at literally every piece of new information,

Markus takes the first step towards avenging his wife by playing hot potato with a live grenade,

Bob nearly gets killed by a dead,

Sapphire has a panic attack and tries to save a dude who is about to have his neck exploded,

Carl performs surprise surgery on the first Russian he sees,

Karl creates a piece of modern art on the wall behind a UPP medic,

And Mathilda slutshames a victim of gun violence

SESSION 5: Nix decides to burn a wounded man to death instead of just shooting him like a sane person,

Markus continues to execute every commando he can find,

Bob does a little trolling and makes the autopilot go d o w n

Sapphire tries repeatedly to convince the squad to [REDACTED] a civilian

Carl snipes with the might of god and god alone

Karl magdumps a bunch of dudes 0.01982 seconds after they ate a grenade,

And Mathilda tries to promote her Onlyfans to an unwilling crowd

(And Kent poops his pants so hard that the thrust of the dropship extends to 122%)

SESSION 5.5: The party commits war crimes.

Repeatedly.

This is not a joke.

That is all.

SESSION 6: Nix burns a wounded man to death out of spite (again),

Markus recovers from a broken shoulder in 1.249 seconds,

Bob commits armed robbery,

Sapphire -dies-

Carl sends a man so directly to the afterlife that his reincarnation dies the millisecond after being born,

Karl commits a mass shooting,

And Mathilda finally gets to drive her tank

SESSION 7: Nix does nothing but sabotage the mission,

Markus gets shot (again) and then fails to do anything particularly important,

Bob has a gamer moment and commits a mass shooting,

Sapphire is still dead,

Doug saves his comrade 0.937 seconds after joining the squad,

Carl continues to end so many lives the line at the gates to hell is several miles long,

Karl does his best Rambo impression,

And Mathilda gets her private pilot license (she didn’t leave the tank)

SESSION 8: Nix burns yet another human alive

Marcus miraculously doesn’t get shot, and kills people with grenades

Bob develops a crippling addiction to heavy machine guns

Sapphire began the decomposition process

Doug administered some wonder drug to his squad

Carl continues to blow apart limbs relatively close to their bendable joints

Karl finally freaked out hard enough to lay down hate at a level which surprises God

Mathilde managed to keep her APC operational and kill some more cultists (edited)

SESSION 9 (Not a One Shot Session 1): Nix gets demoted due to crippling mental damage,

Marcus makes a solid attempt at starting a nuclear criticality accident with hand grenades,

Bob, being the commtech, is of course the first one to die,

Doug becomes the resident galactic drug dealer,

Carl does something, probably,

Karl fills an innocent civilian with so much lead that the holes start to markedly reduce the person's weight,

and Matilda exploits workers with PTSD to further her OnlyFans profits

SESSION 10 (Not a One Shot Session 2): Nix gets head from a xenomorph (not in the way she wanted),

Markus proves himself a brilliant strategist by declaring a great plan and leaving to do it alone,

Bob is miraculously rescued, just to break again 13 seconds later,

Doug dashes past multiple xenomorphs to rescue Bob, only to fall over when one gently taps his ankle,

Carl "bravely" cowers in an elevator watching everyone get their shit kicked in, manages to not die,

and Mathilda gets her insides rearranged (again, not in the way she wanted)

SESSION 11 (Not a One Shot Session 3):It was all a horrible dream

SESSION 12: Nix manages to hit some poor woman directly in the eye with a flamethrower,

Markus commits a mild genocide with a bundle of grenades,

Bob goes goblin mode with a heavy machine gun, and slaughters cultists like he's mowing a lawn,

Sapphire is more dead than Markus' wife (who was killed in a terror bombing and is probably individual atoms),

Doug mostly chills out and hands out stress reducing drugs (they're definitely legal),

Carl manages to snipe a man clear through a forcefield,

and Mathilda buys onlyfans, and immediately causes its collapse Elon-style

House Rules

Players get all starting talents for their class, instead of only one.

If players roll high enough on medicine checks, they can remove broken status.

Combat lasts one round only.

Location	Campaigns
MD	Pirates of Quelmar, Uncharted, OathWielders, Chronepsis Campaign, The Atla Campaign, Untitled Podcast Campaign, SotS Inc, The Underdungeon, Towson Tabletop, Sick of this Shit
Online	The Court of Bloom and Blade, Troubles in Alanya, Infernal Invasion, Aw Heckna!, Trial of Dreams, Qandela Obscura, Painted Sands of Pteris, Within the Wicked Wilds, Cirque de la Fey, Icewind Dale, Assassins of Q-Synara, Quelmarch, Deadly Diaspora, Reckondary Characters, Queljammer, Sparrow's Point, The Beggar's Bodega, Quelmar Goes to Space, Secondary Characters, The Realmtrotter's Guide to Zobeck, The Neighbours, For the Love of Gold
PA	The Court of Bloom and Blade, The Backhalls 2, Within the Wicked Wilds, Alien Colonial Marines, The Iron Sea, Teatime Adventures, Into the Greedy Green, The Backhalls, The Beggar's Bodega, The Brightwater Campaign, The Realmtrotter's Guide to Zobeck, Ancients Alive
International	The Cola Bears Saving the World, Queljammer
Twitch	Blood Wood, Depths of the Druma, Just the Q of Us, Once Upon a Town, CyberpunQ, Untitled Mafia Project, System Agnostic, First Class, The Rocklin Clinic Job, Not Strahd, Another One Bites the Dice, Rule Benders, Metagame, King for a Day, Operation Verdant Pyramid, Playtest Tuesday, ⮞Get Submodule, Tails of Quelmar, It Came From Kiston